A PHOTO

streeter:

I’m glad the portrait of Ben Franklin stayed the same on the new $100 bill. There’s something about his slight, tight frown, the paternal hint of disappointment in his eyes and those pursed, sealed lips that seem to say, “I don’t approve of what you’re doing, but I can’t stop you from rolling this banknote into a straw and ripping a fat rail of white lightning in the Buffalo Wild Wings handicapped bathroom stall, you goddamn beautiful disaster.” 

A PHOTO

mrscarstairs:

Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story.

So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got thirsty and decided what the hell, Ima get myself a Coke. So I went down to the vending machine on our floor and swiped my card and pressed the button to vend the Coke. Well, TWO cokes popped out.

Weird right?

I looked around, wondering if I was on one of those punk’d shows, and grabbed both bottles. Suddenly, a loud thrumming came from the machine, and lo and behold, 6 MORE COKES CAME OUT.

After checking my debit card statement, I found that I was only charged for ONE coke. Feeling giddy but slightly guilty, I nabbed all 8 bottles of coke and went back to my room. After telling my roommate what happened, she decided to go back to the coke machine with me and see if only the Cokes are affected.

She bought two Sprites, and what the fuck do ya know, she got those damn Sprites, AS WELL AS 11 FREE COKES. 

This of course jammed the machine, and before I knew it, I was on my knees with my arm up the Coke machine, practically birthing these little fuckers. I even read off their names on their bottles as I handed them to my roommate. We also found a random Cherry Coke had popped out as well.

Behold our finished family. 19 cokes, 2 Sprites, and a Cherry Coke, all the result of a very overworked and confused Coke machine.

Reblogged from 3rd time's a charm
A PHOTO

kingcheddarxvii:

Not the heroes we thought we needed but the heroes we really needed all along

A PHOTO

2corinththoughts:

spiritdick:

I want to know why

I’ll will bet real money that a father was involved.

A TEXT POST

therothwoman:

gunpowderandspark:

According to the song Seasons of Love from RENT, there are 525,600 minutes a year.

One line later, there are “525,000 Moments so dear”.

So, doing the math, we can glean that there are 600 moments which aren’t so dear.

And I think I just used one of them by walking in on my boss who forgot to lock the bathroom stall.

this post did not even remotely go in the direction I was expecting it to

A VIDEO

cheesecakefagtory:

Video of the century.

Reblogged from 3rd time's a charm
A VIDEO

ev4n-perks:

NOW I KNOW WHY OUR GENERATION IS SO SARCASTIC AND CYNICAL